Last night I cried. Gut-wrenching cries that I tried to suffocate
into my pillow. I had woken up a few
times before this, but this time I couldn’t hold back anymore. It’s happened several nights over the past six
months. I manage to hold it tightly together during the day, but there’s
something about the night that pulls the strings apart. Perhaps it’s the darkness or the fact that I’m
alone and can let down the walls.
Sometimes I have moments of overwhelming
sadness. I’m praying for a miracle. A
true, inexplicable, impossible-by-human-standards kind of miracle. And the
reality is that I may not get that miracle in the way that I want. I know the Lord will answer my prayer, but His
response may not be the miracle I desire.
Instead, it will be the miracle that is best for the person(s) involved. Which breaks my heart a little.
So as my pillow became a sponge, I
sought comfort and solace from my best Friend.
I switched on the lamp and grabbed my Bible, unsure of where to even
begin. With a flip of the pages, I landed on Psalm 22. That’s where I found the Deliverer.
“My God, my God, why have You
forsaken me?
Why are you so far away from
saving me,
So far from the words of my
groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but
you do not answer,
By night, and am not silent.”
That first line struck me immediately.
The very same words spoken by the Savior as He took His last agonizing
breaths on the cross (Matt 27:46 & Mark 15:34). In ways I can’t explain, I relate deeply to
the first stanza of this psalm. David’s grief and fear, his cry for salvation,
the feeling of loneliness and hopelessness.
But we have a Savior that knows the depth of our anguish: The
excruciating pain of the nails holding Him to the cross. The torture in each
suffocating breath. The blood draining out each stinging wound from the
whip. The piercing crown of thorns upon
His head. Three hours of total darkness. He experienced the most horrific form of
suffering…He understands - and endures with us – every ounce of misery we might
face.
Centuries before Christ came to earth, David cried out to God. In his moment of despair, he recalled the
many times his ancestors had found themselves in seemingly hopeless
situations. They trusted. How did the
God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob respond to their desperate pleas? He delivered.
“Yet, You are enthroned as the Holy One;
You are the praise of Israel.
In You our fathers put their
trust;
They trusted and You delivered
them.
They cried to You and were saved;
In You they trusted and were not
disappointed.”
Take heart, dear ones! We may be walking that road in the valley of
the shadow of death, YET…He is still God. All-powerful, all-knowing,
ever present in times of trouble. He is
with us - In the darkness, He’s right there beside us. He is able. He is trustworthy. He’s sovereign
and He’s good. He’s already overcome the
world.
I don’t know what miracle you’re
praying for tonight. Maybe it’s a
financial situation, a restored relationship, healing from loss. Whatever the circumstance, step out into the
darkness and reach for the “yet.” Recall
the His faithfulness and provision in the past.
Trust Him for deliverance – in whatever way He deems best.
