Happy Fall, ya’ll!
Suddenly, autumn seems to have arrived.
One day we had a high of 90 degrees, the next it was 50. Which brings so many changes. Apple and
pumpkin spice, hoodies and boots. School buses and football and hockey. Cool relief from the summer heat and leaves
transforming into their rainbow of red, yellow, and orange.
Every fall, I begin to reflect on the past year. The joys and the sorrows, the successes and
the failures. And I wonder…did I change, too? Am I a little less green than I
was twelve months ago? I’m rather ashamed
of that girl. Ignorant of her stagnancy,
she thought she was content with the way her life was. She didn’t see a need for change, at least
not externally. Work, friends, family…all fine and dandy. She was comfortable.
Then reality shattered her naïvete. Sometimes it takes a punch in the gut to wake
us up. You know the news you just never
want to receive? The kind that seems
like a nightmare, and happening to loved ones four states away.
I prayed. I prayed so hard for healing and for wholeness,
for things to go back to the way they were, for normalcy. This new reality was harder than anything my
family had experienced in the past. What
are You up to, God? Where are You? What good can come from this? Why us? You promise to never leave us or forsake us. You promise to fight this battle for us. You promise that Your plans give us hope and
future. You promise to make us into a
well-watered garden. How? In this desolate place of starvation and
sickness…how?
Hope was gone.
Then I heard a gentle whisper: “Do you believe in Me?”
Now months later, I find myself still reeling from the
heartbreak. Yes, I believe in Him. Yes, I trust Him. But I still grieve. The other night as I
flipped open my Bible, God led me to the Book of Hebrews. And HE SHOWED UP.
Chapter 6 says, “Because God wanted to make the unchanging
nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He
confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in
which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the
hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor
for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the
curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf” (v. 17-20).
Oh, there are so many layers here to unfold. First, I love
the phrase unchanging nature. As
someone who hates surprises and appreciates consistency and stability, I find
comfort in the assurance that even though my life is constantly shifting, my
God is not. In every season, He is still the same. He’s the same yesterday, today, and
forever. His nature, His very heart,
will always be. I can count on it.
And He wants to make sure His heirs understand this. So, who are His heirs? According to Romans 8:14 & 17, “those who
are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God,” and “if we are children, then we
are heirs, heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.” If you are a believer, then you are an heir
to His promise! If we are His heirs, we
have this hope that He is eternal, His sacrifice has saved us from eternal
suffering, and one day we will enter His perfect, holy kingdom. That’s the promise we are given, that we will
someday have no suffering, no sorrow, no pain.
There shall be no more tears.
It’s hard to conceptualize that in this imperfect world.
When it seems like every plan we’ve made is thwarted, every option exhausted,
every ounce of light extinguished, how can we keep the faith?
Later in Hebrews, the writer defines faith as “being sure of
what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (11:1). He defends his argument by reminding his audience – the Hebrew nation – of their ancestors’ faith. “By faith,
Abel…Enoch…Noah…Abraham…” and so on.
Abel offered the sacrifice God required. Jeered by his peers, Noah, in holy
fear, built an ark. Abraham became a father because he trusted God to be
faithful to His promise, looking forward to a “better country – a heavenly one”
(v. 16). Others experienced torture and execution “so that they might gain a
better resurrection” (v. 35). Each one lived out their faith by obeying the
Lord and looking ahead to eternity, even when it seemed irrational and
hopeless.
The thing is…11:13 & 39-40: “These people were still
living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they
only saw them…from a distance…These were all commended for their faith, yet
none received what had been promised. God had something better for us so that
only together with us would they be made perfect.”
As long as sin remains in this world, suffering will exist.
But our hope – that Christ defeated sin by dying on the cross and resurrecting
to life – gives us the assurance that we will receive our inheritance in
heaven.
I am so encouraged by this!
Tonight, as I cry in grief, I am also shedding tears of joy and
gratitude. My drowning soul is clinging to that anchor of hope and I’m not
letting go. Because I know that my
grandparents have received their promised inheritance, my uncle is receiving
his, and in God’s perfect timing, I will, too.
Some have asked how I
can believe in something I cannot see. The
truth is that I seek His Presence. I see
Him in the miles my mom & aunts traveled every week from Pennsylvania to
South Carolina. In the love and devotion of a faithful wife. In the tender
touch of a mother caring for her terminally ill son. In the son’s gratitude for
simply getting through another day. In
the kindness of the medical staff. In
the way Buddy sits and gives me one of his Great Dane sized paws, his brown
eyes glistening with eagerness for a snack.
This year I realized that we can ask why, but we may not
receive the answer on this side of heaven.
That’s okay. I know Who has the
answers, and as I get to know Him better, I am learning more of His goodness
and sovereignty. He loves us so. I have
no doubt that when my uncle breathed his last, agonizing breath in this world,
he breathed his first full breath of heavenly air as he fell into the arms of
Jesus. Exiting his cocoon of illness and
pain and receiving a perfect, whole new body.
And then I realized…that’s the transformation we all anticipate.
That right there, that’s the good. That’s the hope we have as an anchor for our
soul, firm and secure.
